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CLIMBING MOUNT BLANC

Day 16 Chamonix to Gouter Hut 3818m

Surprisingly I sleep well and feel good when my alarm goes off. I get up and put my stuff on, take a few photos and head to breakfast. I have the usual coco pops and bread as I haven't got to the bit in the guide book that tells me what to eat. Marco arrives early and has brought me a rucksack and head lamp. We load up and head off.

We get to the ski lift and I buy the tickets to head up. In front of me in the queue are two English fellas Ralph who lives over in France and Ed who'd come over to see him-we get chatting and I realise that I am way out of my depth. They've both climbed Kilimanjaro and Ed's done marathon de sables. This does nothing to comfort me. We head up in the cable car and then across to the train to the Nid D'Aigle. From here we set off on a slow slog up to Baraque des Rogne at 2768m a gain of 396m-I feel good and Marco sets a good pace. He's as competitive as me and when we reach a bottle neck behind people we head off up the steep side slopes scramble over boulders. From the Baraque des Rognes we head on straight up to Tete Rousse hut, Marco asks if I want a break but I've always found that having breaks only makes it harder to get going and more difficult in the long run. I've forgotten to bring any water anyway so we scramble up the 399 vertical metres to the Tete Rousse hut for lunch. We get there first but get served our food last. We have some potato and cheese type dish and I buy an extortionate bottle of water. I met Ed and Ralph's guide, Sam, he's a classic mountain guide, long dyed blonde hair with the routes all grown out and a 10day beard. We all sit next to a Spanish and a Swizz guy with their guide Fredo-he's young but looks like he's was born on the mountains. My guide seems to be a tough cookie and I trust him 90% of the time. He seems to like to test me and take me up harder routes than other people. We walked up the glacier without crampons while the others either cramponed up or headed further up for a flatter part. We also seem to be the only two without helmets on. Still we're moving fast, the altitude isn't affecting me and we head on out for the 650 vertical metres up to the Gouter Hut.

This is where the day gets tricky. It's climbing up near vertical rock faces, I'm roped to Maroc but don't fancy his chances or holding me in a fall. I'm not great with heights and find my self concentrating 100% on Marco's boots, trying to put mine exactly where he put his so much so that when we round a sharp corner I bash my head into a big and perfectly obvious rock. This doesn't help my confidence. The rocks are shiny from all the previous people this year. Rocks come away in my hands and I find myself not trusting my feet at all. There's a light covering of snow and this adds to the mix of people squeezing past on the way down and the wind gusting into me. Marco stands tall above me comfortable in the surroundings sturdy like a mountain goat, I quiver and slide around below him braced against the rocks like a baby elephant. Still my competitive side takes control, I don't look down and I heave my malcoordinated carcass up the face. We arrive at Gouter Hut early and Marco goes to find out what's going on before I put my stuff by my bunk and swap my boots for the huts slippers (much too small) and I slip around to the tables in the dining area. I feel some pressure in my sinuses and decide to get some water on board. Ralph and Ed turn up and we share a huge pot of tea. We talk about the concerns we've had for the day and it puts me at ease that they're struggling a bit too. We try and get a definite answer about the weather and our chances tomorrow but none of the guides are prepared to give a definite answer.

My head still aches so I head to the bunks for a siesta before tea at 6. I don't sleep but get some good rest and have a pee in the toilets-literally a seat overhanging the edge and they wreak worse than I do! I check on the board where I'm supposed to sit and get some more water on board. I'm on a table with Marco, some Germans and three Americans (two clients, one guide), the clients are typical Americans and I can't get much conversation out of them, but the guide is a top bloke called Tim. I have a right laugh with him, both he and Marco have guided on Denali and share a few stories about it. He puts my mind at ease about the route tomorrow and is genuinely nice-turns out he was born in England which explains it so I offer him a hob nob before heading off to bed.

We're due to get up and go at 3 but I don't have a watch so have to guess the time-I don't sleep anyway as I hear the winds shake the annexe I'm in and I can smell the stench from the toilets below. There's two people snoring in the room of forty and they are both lying next to me. The format for sleeping is two long bunks on either wall each with room for ten people to sleep with blankets and a pillow provided not exactly five star accommodation that you'd expect for E50 a night! Then again I am 3817m up on the edge of a cliff and it's blowing a gale outside so I shouldn't moan too much about being inside in the warm! I know I need to sleep but all I can hear is the synchronised snoring of the two Germans either side of me playing with the Foehn Wind rocking the hut in time. I can feel my ice axe with my toes but I think hacking someone to death for a bit of heavy breathing is a bit extreme.



Day 17 Gouter Hut-Mont Blanc-Chamonix

People start moving and I manage to see the watch on someone’s wrist reads 3.07am so I get up and head over to the dining area-to do this I have to go outside and as I've forgotten my head torch I stumble and fall twice in the ten metres it takes to get to the next door. It is windy, cold and generally unpleasant getting out from my warm blanket to face this blizzard. To top it all, when I get to the dining room-it's dark and no one’s about except one of the Germans from my table-is this some kind of elaborate joke?

I head back to the hovel and get my head down. There's more movement a few hours later and the wind has reduced down to a purr. I get up again-this time there's much more movement and Marcos up and getting the breakfast, we eat quick and head outside, Fredo and Marco help me do my crampons and once again I feel like a child out of my depth.

I'm wearing everything I have with me and have loaded my pockets with chocolate and sweets-if this is my time to go I'm going to face it with the taste of Cadburys chocolate in my mouth.

From the hut there's a steep snow slope up to the Aiguille de Gouter and get myself into a comfortable rhythm that has me following Marcos footsteps on the trail. The sky flashes with lightening strikes of a storm approaching from the south west and the path is outlined by head torches trailing off over the Dome de Gouter, gradually we close in on and over take each of them, I know I should be thinking about where I'm putting my feet and how the altitude is affecting me (it's not affecting me at all if anything I feel as fit as I ever have) but all I can think of is if we zip back here we can pip the yanks at the corner and cut the Germans up on the ridge. I'm roped to Marco and we make good time, the wind is picking up and Marco is concerned but we're slightly protected in the Dome so I tell him to toughen up. He doesn't understand but we carry on. There are no headlights ahead and the sun is starting to do its business on the horizon. We come up out of the Dome and I can see the Vallot shelter at 4362m, we head up hill and it's tough. I'm following Marco's foot steps but whereas he seems to be floating across the crust I'm knee deep in snow and ploughing the field-the people behind me must be having an easy time following my carved route. It's Fredo's group behind us and we stop near them for some tea. The hut had filled our flasks up for us and it tastes good. By now the wind is biting into us we're about 10m above the Vallot Shelter and are feeling the wind full on, it's about 60mph steady and gusting up to double that, I've not felt wind take my legs out from under me, Marco stumbles and fall I stutter down onto one knee and back up again. The tea's hot and as I'm in a hurry to get my jacket zipped up and gloves back on I knock it back burning my throat, it doesn't matter I'm going to climb Mt Blanc I'm 400m below the top, feeling strong, the wind's an issue but as long as I've got a few feet stumbling space I'm not bothered.

More people are arriving so we head off, we get about 100m further up and I notice both my boots have come undone, I signal to Marco that I have a problem he can't hear me over the screaming wind but comes over and shouts that my boots are undone in my ear-good job he's here! I try to redo them with my gloves on but it's no use so I take them of. The cold bites into my hands, they're numb within seconds and after the minute or so exposure I give them doing my laces up they struggle to haul my outer gloves back on. It doesn't matter I use my teeth and they're on. We head on up, the wind relentlessly attacks us and the route becomes more exposed as we walk down the Italian side of the ridge. Fortunately it's buffeting us into the ridge on our left I use my ice axe to balance and we move on, our progress has stuttered down to a crawl. We stop just below the summit ridge, we're 170m from the summit and I can see it now.

The wind is pelting it and doubts start to some into my mind. Marco stops and says it's too windy and we should turn back, I assure him that I'm feeling fine and think we should push on a bit. With comic timing the wind gusts and I fall on my face into the snow. We're still on the side of the ridge and heading up-Marco agrees to push on up to the ridge. As we emerge on top the effect of the wind doubles and without the ice on our left to balance with we are completely at the mercy of the elements. I know it's hopeless and Marco tells me again we need to turn back. I'm gutted. I feel strong, I'm not tired my legs are full of gas and I can smell the success of the top we're now less than 100m from the top. To carry on is dicing with death at best, suicide at worse. I'm knocked to the ground again. I pick myself up throw a bit of a strop, Marco doesn't understand what I'm saying, I feel the tears welling up-I don't like failing and second place is always the worst place to come, but today the weather wins. I reason that I have nothing to prove, physically I can make the summit of the roof of Europe, for a first mountain I've achieved well. My brain rejects this and I sit down to take some footage of how close we are to tease me back at a later date. It's blizzard conditions and as I film the summit disappears into the snow. I take a photo and head down.

It's the right choice. It's the only choice. It eats me up inside and it takes a slip into a crevasse to refocus me on the task ahead.

As we head down other groups head up to the ridge and I pray that the wind stays strong and no one reaches the top today. Selfish I know but I'm pissed off. We head down and near the Vallot shelter, going down is tricky and Marco is now behind me so I have no one to follow. My mind is elsewhere though. I stop and look back up and it cheers me up to see everyone else coming back down.

We stop for more tea and get to the Gouter Hut in brilliant sunshine, Marco pulls on the rope and I look back at the summit-it is swamped in a raging cloud, coloured muddy brown by the rising sun. I've made the right decision. We get out of the wind and down to the hut, take off the crampons and I buy some water. The others stop for some food but I'm still raging inside and when Marco suggests we can go straight down I agree. The descent from Gouter to Tete Rousse had been my main worry from the day before, it's steep, it had snowed over night and only a trickle of people had come up so the path wasn't obvious. Again Marco would be behind me so I'd be finding my own foot holes and hand holds and I'd be facing out looking down over huge drops where one slip would mean a free flying lesson for both me and Marco. I got into it and after a few tips from Marco-"like a monkey, you are monkey", cheers Marco-we were down. The screes and gentler slopes were tougher on my thighs and feet. I had been worried about not having my own boots, on the way up I had no problem but now the boots stuck a blow and the toes pinched in. We missed the train down from Nid D'Aigle by five minutes and had to wait two hours for the next one. By which time Ed and Ralph had got down with Sam closely followed by Fredo and the Spaniard and Swizz fella.

We chatted all the way down, Ed was nearly as gutted as I was but Ralph put a positive spin on it. We went our separate ways at the bottom agreeing to meet up at the Micro Brewery later. Marco dropped me off and I gave him one of my London to Cape Town T-shirts which was far too big for him and he headed off.

[Dan's Diary]